Saving Salman Khan…The Court Was Only ‘Being Human’!

 

As Salman Khan folds his hands and accepts in ‘all humility’ of his acquittal, I know what’s going on in his head. Right now he’s saying, “Rishte main to hum saare Hindustaan ke baap hai, naam hai Shahenshah!” In his bravado he could be stealing somebody else’s thunder but what’s the big deal about it! C’mon! When almost every filmmaker in India makes his rozi roti from lifting an idea from the West, can’t the reigning superstar steal a credit line?

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Well, India needs to thank Salman! If he got us Big Boss and those insane celebrities mouthing insanities and behaving like weirdos, it was a welcome change from the wailing and shrieking saas bahu dramas. And now he’s got us all the baap of all entertainers- his verdict drama. If he hadn’t given us this gift, half of India would still be watching Sunny Leone while pretending to do their work!

According to reliable sources, Salman had told myself, “ek baar jo maine commitment kar di, uske baad main apne aap ki bhi nahi sunta!” He had told himself, come what may, he would be free! So we have the driver with starry dreams to deliver a performance of his lifetime by saying that he was driving the car. C’mon he owes this much at least after so much of ‘dhan paayo’ from ‘prem rattan’.

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Salman owes a big thanks from his heart to all his fans and industry friends. In the film world he must have been used to the bitching and talking behind the back. But it’s nice that these invisible people who had earlier no voice on the earthquakes, rapes, girl child deaths, farmer’s suicides are now waxing eloquence about the pardon!

Salman’s bailout is a big thumbs up to Indian judiciary. “Where there is a will, there is a way”. Add to it, “Where there is will with paisa and glamour, there is always a way”.  Can I please make a request to the judges, that while Salman dances and prances in films again, they should not make a habit of speedily disposing of routine cases? After all, there has to be some difference between a superstar and the sadak chaaps!

I think the judges also believed that a man who could risk his life and his religion as “Bajrangi Bhaijaan’ by crossing over to Pakistan to help little “munni” find her rightful home had to be a kind man: probably drunk, but still a kind man.

Faking News had the perfect troll on the verdict. It reported that “Salman Khan once again proved to be a good Samaritan when he offered to carry Lady Justice on his back and dump her outside. Apparently, Lady Justice had lost her way in Mumbai High Court after having moved around police stations and Parliament. Since she is blindfolded, there were concerns about her safety in the court premises. Just like Salman had helped munni, who couldn’t speak, reach her house in Pakistan. He took it upon himself to ensure that Lady Justice is taken to the place where she rightfully belongs.

Great, great end to our filmi tamasha ‘Being Human’ where everyone from Salman, to the judges, to the driver were human. The only inhuman people were the homeless dwellers that were sleeping on the sidewalk. As Abhijeet so aptly believes that they got what they deserved, ‘Kutta road pe soyega kutte ki maut marega‘.

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It’s another 300 crore blockbuster from Salman Khan!

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