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Friday, January 28, 2022

Travelling By Delhi Shatabdi Express, Quite A Task Still!

Humour

Team Khurkihttps://khurki.net
KHURKI is a character who's sarcastic by birth and has sarcasm running in its veins in place of blood. Its bitter-sour tongue gives it the edge!

Early morning, with a swollen pair of eyes I waited for my cab.

While the typical nahana dhona and tyaar hona was happening, my Ma got me the chaa (morning tea) in spite of knowing the fact that I’l get it in the train too…if you are an Indian kid, you’ll know what I mean…Indian moms are super cute…!!!

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I gotta call from an unknown number and the the moment I picked it up, the person on the other side very vibrantly said “Ola- maam your cab’s waiting outside”. I plainly said thank you and hurriedly started picking up my luggage to start on my journey….

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Early morning drive through my beautiful city Chandigarh was worth it and I was pleasantly surprised to see that the railway station looked very inviting…but it was only till I stepped in…

There goes the pleasant feeling out of the window..!!

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Well, I started looking around for my coach number which the ticket mentioned as C8. I noticed that the entire crowd was staring at me…reason – the new one who stepped in.

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Like everybody else present, I stood there and unloaded the luggage I was carrying…kept looking around..left, then right, turned around, then left again, right..and kept it going till I started noticing the impatience in certain people…they were trying to find the train while standing at the edge of the platform as if the train’s playing a peek a boo with them…I have to admit that it wasn’t just one person who was into this game…there were many in the vicinity of my vision…

Arrreh bhai kyu mrne wali harkatein krte ho..train yahin aegi…chupke nikal nai jaegi, said me to myself.

One of the most rude voices spoke through the speakers and we were told that the train was about to arrive on the platform…Suddenly everyone picked up their luggage and got ‘Ready’…I smiled and looked down to hide my grin while a scene from the movie 300 started playing in my head’s player where the Spartans are ready to attack the enemy….lols…

Wahi hua…the moment Shatabdi settled comfortably on the platform for her boarders, people started pushing each other and bumping into whosoever came in their way…just to grab a seat that was already booked in their name…DUHHHH!!!

I waited…standing there watching the lunatics proceed, I bought myself a comic…my childhood favourite – Archie Digest.

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I paid Rs 95 for this one and I am sure this wasn’t the price we used to pay when we were kids…mehengai kitni badh gai hai 😕..Modiji kuchh karo

When the platform was nearly empty, I boarded my train and waited for the previous passengers to sit down, but a lot of rustle bustle and bumping still was seen. Finally, I got to my seat, a 3-seater with a lucky man sitting amidst 2 pretty women…

I settled down, kept my bag on the luggage shelf and made sure it was safe and well placed. I noticed a cute looking screen in front of me, which was definitely a recent advancement.

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There was a list of channels which I could watch..yup only WATCH as your eyes can only see the screen but you won’t be able to hear anything as there was nothing in there which could act as an earphone and I had forgotten my pair at home..So, this advancement didn’t prove to be very fruitful for a passenger like me…I remember flying by Emirates and there was always a sealed pair of earphones at your disposal…That’s service..!

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So, I moved on to comforting myself by adjusting the chair and folding the front table..but no..there we go again…yet another disappointment…the table won’t fold..Reason – unknown!!

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Finally, I ended up sitting in an awkward way till I could finally get a comfortable position to rest my head and back. I was constantly observing everyone around – I love doing that and making people wonder what am I looking at hehehehe – my favorite pastime.

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There was this ‘Meals on Wheels’ guy coming around serving people tea and coffee besides distributing newspapers.

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So when I looked around, I found people who were staring back at me – Wollah – my types but nooo…they were probably just looking at a beautiful girl sitting in front of them…

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When you sit silently in a moving train, you tend to observe a lot of people looking back at you. There are people who stare right back, others tend to look away when you notice them staring and there is this category that will keep styling themselves up and look out for others to stare at them.

Sometimes there is this irritating kinda guy who unfortunately ends up sitting right opposite to you…Grrrrrr and all that he does is smirk around. You stare at him wondering what kinda person he is and he keeps thinking that he’s bowled you over by his super good looks..ahaaaan..lol

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You get a variety of people doing stuff in the train. For instance, there was a person who was watching 3 Idiots and after every 5 minutes used to laugh so loud that everyone used to get startled. I’m sure he didn’t even realise how loud he was, but was pretty entertaining.

There was a Sardarji sitting right parallel to my seat next to an NRI from New York. Oh My God was the word when he got off the train at Sabzi Mandi station, New Delhi. This man talked constantly for 3 hours and gave me a headache. I literally wanted to scuffle him so bad that he dare not utter a single word further. But,my sanskaars generally don’t let me get into such fights.

Then there was this Bengali lady with a kid sitting right behind me. The kid was a true example of a cry baby who does nothing but cry cry and cry even more…it’s like baby you want dudu?? answer is uaaaaaan…oho baby bahar dekho camel ….uaaaaaaaaan. And on goes the crying.

There was another very funny typical weirdo who kept scribbling something on a piece of paper. He kept looking in his phone and then making a note or two. The funny part was, whenever he’d grab my attention, he’d start writing or else he constantly kept staring…lol attention seekers.

Then there sat an uncle who kept on yapping over the phone for some “maal delivered-rokda not received” kinda conversation.

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My station arrived.

People got off their seats half hour before that and stood in line as if train inhe saath hee lejaegi or they need to jump off the train to get onto the platform..!!! jhalle log!

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Finally, when I got off the train, I looked back at the Shatabdi Express and with a feeling of disappointment – Alas..!! nothing has changed in Shatabdi ever since except for the fare.

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