A friend of mine called me a couple of days ago and wanted the number of the women cell.
I was shocked to hear her inquiry and asked her the typical question “sab sukh ta hai?” as if she wanted to invite someone at her place for dinner. Obviously something’s not right. I embarrassingly changed my question to a more decent version saying: “Do you want me to come over?” to which she subtly replied that “it’s my friend yaar – sohreya ne kuti ajj ferto”.
This has been an accepted behaviour in the Indian household and surprisingly, not many choose to raise a voice. Although there are global agitations against such practices but there are some people who readily accept this behaviour and don’t mind staying this way all their life.
The divorce rates have substantially increased over a period of time, therefore as much more masala for the vaelli aunties to discuss during their kitty cat parties.
I strongly think, the word ‘divorce’ should be renamed to ‘Renewal’ or ‘New Birth’. All the divorcees should either be called as new borns or people who’ve managed to revive their life from an episodic melodramatic courtic chaortic advocatic lunatic depressive emotional disorder called the divorce proceedings. Going through a divorce is never easy for anyone. For some couples, going to counselling sessions may be the reason their relationship is saved. But for others, it just might not work out anymore. If a divorce is something both parties want to go through with, the assitance of someone like a Jacksonville Florida family law attorney, for example could be needed. Getting legal help during a divorce will ensure that everything runs smoothly and both parties can go on with their lives.
In India, the separation process isn’t just all about signing two legal documents and settling things easily. There are so many things attached which come into picture only when you’re practically in the situation. You have got uncles and aunties who literally get into tears when they hear about the saddest news on Earth – your divorce – REALLY…!!! Plus there are sometimes bitter divorces where one party of falsly accussed of violence during the relationship and need someone like Gary Rohlwing felony defense lawyer to clear their name before they can even start divorce proceedings otherwise they’ll look like an abuser and could lose everything.
Then, there’s this moment when you come in direct contact with the organisms (parasites) called rishtedaars. You meet them, sit with them, discuss your entire story and even sometimes get emotional about your aap beeti and then after a lot of dilaasas you leave for home. Suddenly you feel sick….a guilt arises which keeps building up – “Why the hell did I even talk to these people about it” because you are so sure that the moment you must have left, the entire gang would jump around discussing “how they always knew that I could not settle with somebody” or “they could swear on the fact that I had major attitude problems”‘ or the worst one “eh ta hai ee ese jogi” – there you go – we know the real culprit — haina??
Now that you’ve made up your mind and you really do need to finish this relationship, you look around for a good lawyer. It takes some time, especially if there is a civil reservation issue involed. Eventually you find a good one, but then you overweigh on their emotional side. Don’t expect your lawyer to hate your husband just cos he’s ‘Your Lawyer’.
Outside the court, all these advocates sip teas and coffees sitting together discussing about their cases and referring to you as parties. Yup, so the person you’re draining your heart out to is actually just making money out of you in the most obvious situation. Please don’t be overwhelmed by the motivating statements such as ‘law is always in the favour of a female’ or ‘aap dekho main inka kya krta hun’ or ‘inhe to ab mazaa chkhaenge’ and so on kinda statements.Basically these all mean – Multiple litigations – more money in their pockets,more confusion – messed up life.
Keep it simple – make up your mind – litigation in Indian courts barely get to a decision any sooner. You’ll end up suffering for years, which will drain your finances, body, mind and beauty out. One day you will sit down and curse yourself for taking this step. It’s true – getting out of a broken marriage isn’t that easy in the Indian society.
These departments for women help and welfare are all bikau. FIRs don’t get lodged. Information gets leaked. Culprits are informed prior to raid, which helps them to go underground. Overall: chakkar pe chakkar. End result: frustration.
Fighting for your rights is a good thing but being misled is the worst. Today’s independent woman thinks that she can conquer the world – but the bitter truth is – sabka eeman bikau hai…bus keemat lagane ki der hai – Don’t trust anyone.
TV, newspapers, press, friends, relatives, jaan pehchaan – nothing comes handy…everyone tries to stay away. Reason – ye inka niji maamla hai!!!
Courts these days are very dependent on the mediation cells. The mediators do work hard for reconciliation but trust me your tears, loud voice, anger and other similar emotions don’t really affect them. They see these overflows as episodes. For them it’s a god forsaken routine and you seem to be no different to them. Maintain your dignity – be a wise talker – don’t overdo. Stay calm. Reveal only those details which are of utmost importance and restrain from personal attacks on anyone, no matter how hurt you are from within. You have to keep it in your head all the time that this relationship is coming to an end and there is no point talking about the bygones.
The courts leave you with 2 options – either litigation or divorce via mutual consent. I’d straight off say mutual consent is the best way to go as the litigation might take years. Although I do understand that not all people are in for mutual separation, but do try if it works out this way. It’s easier to get help from a professional Family Lawyer Chicago (or one closer to where you live), as it is less time consuming and a better chance to move on in life.
You need to stay separately for 6 months at least and only after the completion of this tenure will the court finally grant you a divorce. Sign the papers and get going girl – there’s a lot more coming up for you in your life ahead.
You are blessed with a new life and new start! Live it as there’s no tomorrow. Before even thinking of getting married again, make sure that you are well established and truly independent in terms of money and emotions.
A blog straight from my heart.
Stay strong. Live happily. God bless.