Marriage is a very common occurrence with thousands of people choosing to get married each day. However, even though people try their best to love their spouse, not every marriage is destined to work out and many find themselves left in a situation where they’re having to contact local divorce lawyers to help them with carrying out the divorce process. This can be very unfortunate, but thankfully there are sites like https://findanattorney.net/alimony-lawyers/ which can inform divorcees about how they can get divorced and stay financially stable because after all, divorces are expensive!
Nowadays with a large number of marriages end up not working out and the couple ends up splitting. This is because there is much less of a stigma around divorce and people realize that if they’re not happy, they can move onto a new stage of their life after divorce. If you’re considering a divorce then it’s worth consulting a lawyer so you’re able to maintain an amicable split. Eskew focuses on divorce cases so it would be worth checking them out.
But there are certain things you should never ever say to a person who is divorced or is undergoing one:
1. (When your husband is out of town) “I feel like such a single mom this week”
No, you don’t. Yes, you may not have extra hands at breakfast or bath time, but this is NOT the same as being a single mom. The fears, anger, hurt and complications that accompany divorce are there 24/7, as opposed to the temporary “single” status that occurs when a spouse is away. Do NOT say this, ever.
2. “Bache vache ta ni koi – Issue koi?”
This is the first question asked by the lawyer, the judge, friends, aunties and all those who you can think of as soon as they come to know that you have been divorced. The “bacha vacha” is supposedly the most horrendous crime she could have committed during her marital alliance. For your information, the “bacha vacha” is the one being which keeps her alive while going through such misery. Having them around her makes her feel happy, loved, not alone. She certainly can’t even imagine her life without her kids.
3. “I kind of envy your ‘alone’ time”
Another well-meaning comment that ultimately stings. Mainly because even in moments when she was enjoying her “alone” time, the reason for it would quickly overwhelm. She isn’t alone by choice but as the result of a devastating event. Probably when you and your husband are having a candle light dinner somewhere, she is crying with her head deeply dug into the pillow thinking of how lonely she is.
4. “You’ll never be truly happy until you forgive”
A relationship that has ended due to deception by a partner is the most hurting one. It is quite possible that her husband might have had an extra-marital affair that certainly has ruined her emotionally, physically and spiritually. She could never forgive him-ever. And yet she can say, with complete conviction, that she is happy. Happily married. Happily employed. Happily engaged with life.
5. “I saw it coming”
Even if you did, don’t say it. No matter the cause, divorce almost always feels-on some level-like failure. A comment like this just pours salt on the wound.
6. “It’s ultimately for the best”
It’s natural to want to offer hope in this situation. But in the beginning everyone is terrified-for their financial future, and that they’d never meet anyone else. A comment like this diminishes that fear, and rings hollow.
7. “I’d never survive if it happened to me”
This is like the opposite of the above comment-implying that divorce is something that would decimate the average person. She might only want to feel “typical”-not some freak or outsider because of her new status.
8. “You’re so brave”
Another seemingly innocuous comment-well-meaning, and yet there isn’t a single time that it didn’t ultimately feel like pity.
9. “I would never put up with his behavior”
She might have hung in for months after discovering her husband’s affair-and no one would be more surprised than herself. She realizes that there’d be no turning back once she ended her marriage, and she needed to be absolutely ready and sure before she did. She learned that you don’t REALLY know how much you’re willing to tolerate-until you’re there yourself. People don’t get married with the intention of getting divorced, they are hoping to be with that person for the rest of their lives, unfortunately it isn’t always the case and divorce attorneys jacksonville fl like dorseylawjax.com are contacted to help ease that new transition. No-one wants to step into a courthouse to divorce the person they went in there with to get married. Be kind, realize what is happening and just be there for them, you don’t need words for that.
Be a person who is sensitive enough to realize that each word spoken could mean a lot for a person who is going through this phase. It isn’t easy for her..if you can’t control your tongue, then you better stay away.
Be nice…happy reading..!!!