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Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Married, Yet No Baby! Do You Even Do Something?

Humour

Team Khurkihttps://khurki.net
KHURKI is a character who's sarcastic by birth and has sarcasm running in its veins in place of blood. Its bitter-sour tongue gives it the edge!

Ye hum nahi kehte zamana kehta hai…lol

If you are a married couple and haven’t planned a baby yet then keep those eyes glued to this screen coz this article is definitely for you.

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I had the opportunity to get an insight into my friend’s married life and she was more than happy to share her feelings with me about how the society makes it nearly impossible for a couple to live happily if the noo rani hasn’t conceived as per their specified timelines.

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So this friend of mine, Miki (name changed) comes from a humble background and is married to a talented young boy, who also happens to be a great friend of mine.

It didn’t take me too much time to understand what all this poor couple was going through, as I myself have grown up in this society and happen to know just what all people tend to say when they come down to show their aukaat.

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So here we go…

While talking the first statement, I heard from her mouth was ‘yaar they think I’m a bacha banane ki dukaan!’ I had a hearty laughter at this one but little did I realize that there was a very serious emotion hidden in it. I felt kinda silly after laughing but that’s okay haina..ho jaata hai kabhi kabhi..

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Then came the next statement – what if I had conceived in the first year of marriage? I went like ‘then what?’ Lai, she said…then they would have said itni bhi kaya aag lagi thi…control kahan gaya…shaadi ko ek saal to hone dete….oh god and what not.

People would have laughed at me while holding a baby in my arms on my first anniversary .. 😒

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I gave her a nod and she was comforted by the fact that I was agreeing to her, which in turn made her more confident to speak further.

She went on….

People don’t even feel embarrassed while asking ‘tum kuchh karte bhi ho ya nahin…’😠😠😠

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The buas and maasis keep saying hamare khelne ke liye bhi koi le ao…as if my baby isn’t going to be a human but a doll…and ‘gawd’ if the so-called khilona turns out to be a kudi…there we go again…everyone goes like ohhhhh kudi ho gai and if munda ho gaya then they go like koina agli kudi karleyo..as if it’s in our control..and by the way does anyone even care as to what we as a couple want??

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Next one was kinda funny…it actually was😐 and this time, we both laughed pretty hard. She said “one of my auntis suggested that I should get my hubby fully drunk one night and then she wanted me to see ke dekhio pakka ho jaega‘. I stared…she kept speaking “as if daru na ho gai koi stamina increase karne ki davai hogai…”lololololol😂😂😂😂

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So I wiped off my tears and she continued…

If the girl happens to gain weight…people would come up with the typical question ‘Good news??’ I was asked this one too…pata mera javaab kya tha? I grinned and kept looking at her ‘nahin ji thyroid‘ there we went again…rolling on the floor and laughing hysterically.

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Settling back on the couch, she became a little serious, I too shrugged the last few bits of my smile away…everyone’s concerned about the baby but has anyone ever though about the expenses that need to be taken care of…it’s a big responsibility yaar…yahan apna kharcha poora ni hota…nyaane ka kharcha inka baap dega..!!

There was this auntyji who said to me that every human is born with a unique destiny and you wait and watch that your baby will surely be your lucky charm. She also went on saying that by virtue of his destiny, I’d get a government job and money would flow into my account like tsunami.

Now, someone go ask this aunty that do I really want a child or a feng shui crystal?? Also why does she think I am so incapable of getting the government job on my own that I need to wait for a lucky charm?? What if I don’t get that job? What if the baby just comes and there’s no earthquake in my planetary actions? Then isn’t my child my lucky charm anymore? The value of my baby is counted by the number of doors that his luck opens up for me..? What a pitiable thought process. These aunties need a psychiatrist for such a brain dead thought.

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It’s generally seen that these instigators don’t bother the man too much..it’s always the woman whom they keep poking. Ab to main keh deti hun, shed a few of your wise words onto my husband too…after all I am not the only one who has to work towards the pregnancy..!!

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She then reasoned her parents asking her time and again about the baby. They, she said, have a more genuine reason..lol girls will be girls…parents are always genuine haina

But true, they actually feel that if she conceived, then they could lend her a helping hand throughout her gestation and post-pregnancy period. They end up saying that they still are healthy therefore can take charge, with age health too starts deteriorating…yep I agree..genuine reason…

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Moving on, she ignited another spark of humour saying tereko nahin pata yaar kya beet rahi hai mere upar ..!! I smiled softly. Even if you get a facial massage someday..you keep hoping that the face doesn’t glow coz if it does, then again questions start pouring in a typical yet irritating manner “ooooohhh good news hàaaaaaaan”

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Although her in-laws are nice people and don’t nudge her too much but it’s the relatives and the gavandi who are more keen….I mean really…!!!

Saalo tumne andey lene hain” – she literally jumped on the couch and held her head with both hands while clenching her teeth….uuuggggghhh…..’gussa aata hai mujhe inn sabpe….”

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I kept quite but was smiling all through…

Tired of speaking, she gave me the last few words which actually were true to the core…she went like “there is this couple who got married one year after we did and now they have a baby. Ab inhe isse bhi pproblem hai ke woh first kyun aa gaye…I mean WTF man koi race daud rahi thee.!!!

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With this she spewed her anger and tried to calm down. I relaxed my back too and lay on the cozy sofa beside the window with a wonderful view of the moon and the stars. Looking outside I took a deep breath and heard her say….

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Ab likh yeh sab jo bataya tujhe…I am sure there will be a lot of people relating to my aap beeti

I looked at her, with a smile on my face. I hugged her tight, whispering softly in her ears – baby kab kar rahi hai?? 😄😄

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